You jokes
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer?
You can’t pull on her hair when you’re raping her.
Rocks :
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
How do you anger a Republican?
Tell him the truth.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.
What do you call a black person swimming? Cursed Minecraft image.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!