You jokes
People: You're ugly.
Me: Ok.
People: I hate you.
Me: Cool, IDC.
People: You're annoying.
Me: Good for me.
People: BTS is dumb.
Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."
Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.
Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Well, at least my adoption fee cost more than you.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.
Joseph: No, they don't.
Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.
Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it was not born yesterday.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Leo: Mother, what is an idiot?
Mother: An idiot is someone that explains something in a long, boring way so that the person that the idiot is trying to explain to doesn't understand.
Mother: Do you understand?
Leo: No.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
Hey, can I tell you a pizza joke?
Nah, it's too cheesy.
Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.
Orange you glad to see me?