You jokes
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come back.
Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
One day, I love you.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
Girls are like volcanoes.
You never know when they will erupt.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.