You jokes
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
What do you call a stripper in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
What did the Roman say to the gladiator?
See you later, gladiator.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.