You jokes
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
"You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?"
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
Memes
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"9/11."
"9/11 who?"
"You said you'd never forget!"
What do you call 2 nudists in Africa?
Naked and Afraid.
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.