You jokes

Cookie

How do you piss off a disabled person?

You put the cookie on the other shoulder.

Emo

What do you call a group of emo people?

"The Suicide Squad."

Duck

Me: *posts random joke about a duck*

That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."

That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."

Bro it’s a joke...

Memes

9/11

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

[pause] You said you’d never forget.

Firefighter

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

God

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

Phone

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Rape

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

Father

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Computer

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

Homework

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

Zone

When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."