Year Jokes

What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?

They are all locked in the Priest's basement.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I like my men like i like my whiskey. irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxegen.

Why are Egyptian gods orphans Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a-new-bus) every year to make a prophet

Why is Santa's sack so big- because he only comes once a year

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago but ahe didnt tell me what it was........anyways im turning 14 next month.

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Frank: I am named frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years. Finley: I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties! Mia: Can we please change the subject?

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

*A priest walks into a wine store*

"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."

I did so much research that I got BONE-tired from doing this TIBIA honest. You probably didn’t find that HUMERUS. I got a SKELETON of these puns. I guess i could learn a FEMUR puns. I was wondering if the the creators of this site could TALUS how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years-old.