Year jokes
Did you hear the news? Michael Jackson died because he choked on 7-year-old nuts and balls.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
White 40 year olds love little white kids, and so does Trump! The biggest hands to touch the kids and his daughter!
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
80s (DYM 84)
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.
A small, nervous woman steps into a hotel elevator in Las Vegas.
At the next floor, three large, burly men step in. The woman is immediately intimidated and clutches her purse tightly.
Suddenly, one of the men says in a deep voice: "Hit the floor!"
Terrified that she is about to be robbed, the woman drops her bags and collapses face down onto the floor of the elevator, cowering in fear.
The men burst out laughing and help the bewildered woman up. The speaker apologizes profusely and says: "No, ma'am, I meant hit the button for our floor!"
The next morning, the woman receives a massive bouquet of roses and has her entire hotel bill paid for. Attached is a note that says: "Thanks for the best laugh I've had in years."
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!