Year jokes
Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."
"But why?" I replied.
"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.
"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.
A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...
Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???
Child: Both.
Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.
During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: started to laugh and said, "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?
Dumb Kid: DEADit?
Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!
Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!
Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.