Year jokes

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

Can we go back to 2001?

I bet it was more fun back then.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Old woman: You are such a darling child. Please come and see me again next year.

A year later, as child walks up to the door of the old lady's house...

Old woman: Oh my! Goodness sakes, child! Have you grown, or have I shrank???

Child: Both.

Last year, I got kicked out of the Hospital for telling COVID patients to stay positive!

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

What are the three worst years of a black child's life?

First grade!

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?

Homeless.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?

Depends.

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?

A: He was in a mid-life crisis.

My dad and I have been playing hide and seek.

It's been 15 years and I still haven't found him.

Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?

Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.

That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.