Back
Year

Year jokes

The humor of this generation of kids shouldn't be called 'brain rot'; it should be called 'brain rape.' I believe most people of this generation that aren't 5-year-olds could agree with me, but my mind and thoughts have been violated by the things that kids these days find funny and entertaining. #SKIBIDDI

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

Morbid jokes

What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?

They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.

Difference

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

If Charlie Kirk were a 5-year-old schoolkid being murdered, America would have moved on by now.

Incest

Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.

With their brother.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

Michael Jackson

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

A teenage boy decides to go see a hooker for the first time and asks his experienced uncle for some tips.

"Uncle, what should I do about the hooker name? Should I ask her real name or should I come up with a name for her myself?"

"Kid, I've been fucking hookers for 20 years and I didn't even know they had names."

What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?

Oneโ€™s a Good Year, the otherโ€™s a great year.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

My cousin is a surgeon.

Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.