Celebrity scandal jokes

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"You have a great singer inside you."

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

What is the difference between Drake and Carrie Underwood?

Carrie Underwood kissed a 12-year-old boy on the lips.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

People think Kelly Clarkson shops at Wal-Mart because she's a sloppy redneck. No, it's because toddlers' pants are 75% off everyday!

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".