Year jokes
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
Memes
6 year old me in bible study trying to figure out where the dinosaurs were
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Year 10 English.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."