Year jokes

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.

When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.

She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"

54 students died that day.

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

Year 10 English.

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

What's an emo's favorite time of year?

Fall.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.

What is the shortest month of the year?

May, it only has 3 letters!

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.