Year jokes

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

Five years later, he came back and left again.

What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?

Father's Day.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Year 10 English.

Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?

Rip Van Tinkle.

When did Michael say, "This is it"?

2009.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.

I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.

I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.

I decided to go home.