Year jokes
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
All terrorists like starting a new year off with a bang.
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.
POV: You are 7 years old and you find a stick. SWORD.
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...
All of the bristles fell out!
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
Me: What's the fifth month of the year?
Friend: May.
Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....
Good thing my brother's a little bit different.
Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.