IN memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the jackson Chocolte ice cream, it is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
a mom cows last words were to the mom cows son they were you are then died the son though that he was adopted but then 3 years later the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say you were adorable then she died once more then 2 years later she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son and that's why we adopted you.
Yesterday a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
A Pedphile brings his Eight year old Daughter to the doctors office. The doctor asked her if she would like some Candy? Her father replies please no more candy for her i gave her enough today.
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie is the second on.” Says the sad.
There is this boy in my year , he is in a wheelchair so I kicked a football at him and pushed him and so then I shouted ROCKET LAUGE
what month has 28 days
all of them
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class.
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year couldn't you"
I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
There’s 365 days in a year orfans have 363 because they don’t have a mother’s or Father’s Day
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What does an orphan have in common with a 80 year old women “there parents will never come back
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You
Years later: Dad still did not come back
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
miracle whip
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh. he never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
if the average male walks 1.7 miles a day then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk
