Year jokes

One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.

I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy, was my wife mad. She yelled "HOW CAN YOU F*** OUR DAUGHTER?!". Haha, yeah, she was mad.

Anyways, that's why your mother and I are getting a divorce, Timmy.

What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?

A 50-year-old piece of meat.

A 12-year-old bun.

I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:

1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.

I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.

It was a breathtaking experience.

I like my woman how I like my wine, just under 2 years old.

I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.

Dad: Son, I came back.

Son: Where is the milk?

Dad: Time for another 10 years.

My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."

I said, "You wanna bet?"

Bam, a gunshot!

I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.

Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.

A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?

10 year olds.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of AIDS.