Year jokes
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
When did Michael say, "This is it"?
2009.
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi years old.
yes do not forget
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.
I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."
What's an emo's favorite time of year?
Fall.
My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.
He can tell the future.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's Election night.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.