Year jokes

Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

Me: What's the fifth month of the year?

Friend: May.

Me: May deez nuts fit in your mouth?

What do 7 year old girls want?

To be ate!

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

A few years ago I had a brush with cancer...

All of the bristles fell out!

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Any 8 year old: Sus!

Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!

Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

I am Thor.

And next year, I will be five.

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?

Father's Day.