NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Hey, guess what I got for my birthday.
No, what did you get? Older.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.
Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.
PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.
Thank you.
Don't say you want to eat out a five-year-old's pussy, because I have already shoved a glass dildo in her tight ass pussy, UwU.
What weighs 70 pounds and doesn't like sex?
The 6-year-old in the trunk of my car.
