What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise
Breathing exercises
I told this to my English teacher and he said it to the class and no one laughed someone help)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate' "
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew
What is the longest word in the English Dictionary? Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last
English is weird. -- It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
in English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. (Sally): Okay a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. (Teacher): good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. (Teacher): Little Johnny say the alphabet. (Little Johnny): bcefghijklmnopsvwxyz. (Teacher): no Johnny that’s not right. (Johnny): oh I forgot u r a q t. (Teacher). No still not right and thank you. (Johnny): oh I’ll give you the d later . (Class): (laughing). (Teacher): GO TO THE OFFICE NOW .
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? -- A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
English: Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no. Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?” “Under my bench,” he replies.
French: Toto est à l’école et demande s’il peut aller au salle de bain. La maîtresse dit non. Puis, elle demande à Toto, “Où est le plus grand riviere du monde ?” “Sous mon banc,” il répond.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B"?
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
i once called a depressed guy why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone (im not englishs so i could've talked bad)
In heaven responsible for the joke is the English man for food the Italian man and for the law and order a German man.. In hell responsible for food is the English man for order and law the Italian man and for jokes the German man
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London ?
All the exit signs were in English
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
One day 2 Chinese with broken English go to America. When they arrive they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu they see "hot dog" but since there English is bad, they think its literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back there both surprised and one of them ask "What part of the dog did you get."
