Titanic: “And I’m nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!”

There’s a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard, the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, “People need me for my medical skills.” grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, “People need me for my intelligence.” grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, “I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute.” The nerd says, “Don’t worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack.”

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

Why is Steven Hawkins good at skate boarding ? Cos he’s always on the ramps

Want to watch Titanic? No, I’m not on board for it.

I’m a big fan of white boards I find them… Re markable.

My bumper sticker says:👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD

im a big fan of white boards there re-marketable

Why can’t Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

What do you call a white board that is dirty? A dirty white board.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me. I turned her down because I didn’t like the Risk involved.

Whats a pirates favourite key on the key board

Others: r

Rrrr you would think so but it be the C

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor board don’t worry he was just going through a stage

what games do you play if you are board.board games

Teacher: calls you up to the board. You: Ok. Gets intense boner has to fart really bad You: f***!!!

tech administrator of a school: hm, a message from google security? tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT! assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME? tech administrator of a school: WEVE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE! assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC… let’s call the school board

A FEW MOMENTS LATER

head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! that’s a good one, almost as good as the one with jack, jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right whispers you are playing it cool, right? head of school board: whispers yeah were fucked…

TWO HOURS LATER

important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!

AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER

If u ever get board just punch a orphan in the face whats he going to do tell hi parents

Why can’t Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

What do cutting boards and a suicidal teens wrist have in common They both have cutting marks

Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor’s house? A: You’re the chairman of the board!

If your boarded hump Danny and fuck him whatishe goons do fuck rock

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