Board jokes
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"
brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
Memes
"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."
"Why not?"
"He keeps peeing in the pool."
"Well, all kids pee in the pool."
"Not from the diving board!"
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting behind the man asks him, “Are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
There's a plane going down over the desert with only 3 parachutes on board. There are four people onboard: the smartest man in the world, the best doctor in the world, an old priest, and a young nerd. The doctor says, "People need me for my medical skills," grabs the first parachute pack, and jumps. The smartest man in the world says, "People need me for my intelligence," grabs a pack, and jumps. The old priest says, "I have lived a long and happy life. You take the last chute." The nerd says, "Don't worry. There are enough chutes for the both of us. The smartest man in the world just grabbed my backpack."
"what's that on your wrist?"
"I'm a cutting board. duh"
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
My friend told me my wrist wasn't a cutting board. So I asked her if hers was at all, and if I could borrow it.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?
Others: R.
Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.