Board jokes
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Chess board White: right Black: left Yellow: invading
Q: What did the kid say as he tossed a chair to his neighbor's house?
A: You're the chairman of the board!
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
Why is Ollie so boring? He plays board games.
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
In geometry class, the teacher went up to the board and drew a 23-degree angle.
She then drew a 67-degree angle. The class was astonished when the angles started talking! The first one said, "That's a lovely blouse you're wearing," and the second one chimed in, "And I love what you've done with your hair."
The students asked the teacher if she knew what was going on. She sighed and said, "Well, these angles are supposed to be complementary, but I guess they don't know how to spell."
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.
It was a Risk I was willing to take.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.
You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
All of them are married!
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.