I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?
It was given two consecutive sentences.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
Why did the girl rage badly when she got an D- on her essay?
Because the teacher said she missed all her periods.
How did the man with no arms commit suicide?
We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
My wife and I watched The Perfect Murder together. Excellent movie, but what disturbed me though was my wife constantly taking notes.
A couple is sitting down, holding hands, and having a picnic after their wedding when the husband's friend walks over and says,
"Jenny and Jonathan sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes abrupt, tragic miscarriage! Then comes blame. Then comes despair, two hearts damaged, beyond repair. Johnathan leaves Jenny, and writes on the tree: D-I-V-O-R-C-E."
"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
Answer: A chalkboard.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
