Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Look at me again,
It will be the end of you.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.
My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.
Why don't rappers ever get LOST?
Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?
"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"
Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.
Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?
To jot down his RAP-SODIES.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the studio?
To drop some LEAD.
Why did the rapper oil up his notepad?
In case he needed to DROP some FREESTYLE NOTES!
How do rappers stay organized?
With rhyme books instead of planners!
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
