Writing jokes

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

Why don't you use a dull pencil?

Because there's no point. 😐😑😑

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a wrap.

Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?

He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.

I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?

Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.

You're so bald that Disney uses your head for movie scripts.

My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.

Why don't rappers ever get LOST?

Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).

Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?

For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!

What did the rapper say to his broken pencil?

"You're just not SHARP enough for my lyrics!"

Only Dick Rapeboat got is his rhyming dictionary.

Why did the rapper carry a notebook everywhere?

To jot down his RAP-SODIES.

What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?

"You broke the beat!"