Suicide Note vs. College Essay

Listen up, you moron. You think it's funny to compare your suicide note to a college essay? It shows a severe lack of self-preservation. Your family is going to be devastated and you're over here comparing length of writing? It's also pretty funny because it's so absurdly dark. You know what they call that? Gallows humor, you numbskull. This is also self-deprecating as you are talking about how you feel like your existence is only useful for such a document and not worth having a real college essay.