Writing jokes

I am only familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don't know why.

I hate writing dwarf jokes, but I normally keep them short.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

Did you know the past tense of William Shakespeare is Wouldiwas Shookspeared?

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?

Why don't you use a dull pencil?

Because there's no point. 😐😑😑

What do you call a pen with no head?

DeCAPitated.

Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.

Wanna hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tearable.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?

Because I am a bully!

I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.

It's just too tear-able.

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

My daughter has been writing letters asking Satan for gifts. Imagine my shock when I realized she has dyslexia.

Hello Watersharky, I am Koge.

I see your songs and want to be your agent. Please write back about this offer. Thank you.

Is "buttcheek" one word, or should I spread them?

What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.