Writing jokes

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.

I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.

Here are some rules to make a good joke:

1: Don't say “my life.”

2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.

3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

Like this.

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.

My pencil sharpener broke, so now my pencil is pointless.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."

Your hairline is so far back, I wrote a summary about it.

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?

In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.

What is a penguin without a pen? A guin...

These jokes crash and burn.