Woman jokes

Wanna hear a joke? Women have no rights!

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.

If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

Why is life like penises?

Women make it hard.

Violence against women is funny :)

Women understand each other.

That’s why they argue.

If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.

Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?

Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.

Man: Shit!

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

Today I was asked to go out by 17 women. Well, I was in the women's bathroom. 💀

What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?

You can drop her off anywhere.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

Why is it that when women decide to kill an unborn baby, it's a "CHOICE," but when I decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids, it's called "MURDER"!

I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.

You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."