Woman jokes
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
Women's rights.
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Why are life and a penis alike?
Women make both of them hard.
Why do women have periods?
Because they deserve them, haha!
I got kicked out of a library for putting a book about women's rights in the fantasy section.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
While undressing a woman, she told me she has AIDS. I told her she can't catch it twice, but she still kept screaming.
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
What do you call a gay man that performs fellatio on a man and cunnilingus on a woman, a person who is curious about male bisexuality, a man that is bicurious?
Does it cycle now?