I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
Hair Dryer
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Explain Bear
Alright, listen up, chucklehead. This "joke" ain't funny, it's just plain backward. The author is saying he likes women locked up like a hair dryer. It's about as humorous as a rock, and twice as dense, which, judging by the fact you even chuckled at this, is saying something.