Woman jokes
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
How do you give a woman from Alabama a nice compliment?
Answer: You say to her, "Hey, nice tooth!"
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Freya Walker is a feminist.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
Please, this is disgusting. This is only men who think that it’s fun to do jokes about rape. It’s really fucking dramatic for a man/woman to get raped, so please just shut the fuck up!
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Why did God create women with pussies?
Because:
1. Of course, God is a man.
2. Of course, he isn't gay.
3. Of course, he is a perv too (for wanting more pussies)!
Why can't religious women be raped? Because they are taught to never say no!
What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.
What’s the benefit of dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?
A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.
What about women's lefts?
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.