Woman jokes
What do cannibals think when they see a pregnant woman?
"Kinder Egg surprise."
What is the best way to pick up a woman from the bar?
Spike her drink with roofies.
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Laugh it off
I saw a lady in a bikini on the beach, so I walked up to her and said, "LET ME STICK MY DICK UP YOUR BIG ASS!"
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
What is the best way to pick a woman at a bar?
Spike her drink with roofies
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
Just too bitter.
What do you call the White House when a woman becomes President? A stable.
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?
Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.
Doctor: Sex is good for you!
There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:
Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.
Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.
These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.
Only Ninety's kids know about this.