My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. đ [rickrolled]
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isnât talking to me.
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Husband: My wife and I went to the beach today.
Husband: She was wearing a blue wetsuit.
Husband: The second we entered the beach,
Pedestrians: "TSUNAMI! TSUNAMI!"
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
I braced myself when I got in the car, but then I realized my wife wasn't driving.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, âThatâs the fourth time youâve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesnât it embarrass you?â
âWhy should it?â answered her spouse. âI keep telling them itâs for you.â
Whatâs the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I donât turn on a light switch.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
Trump pumped and dumped his wife at the border.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.
