Singing jokes
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"