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A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

Why did the pervert sing Gucci Gang? Because a woman just gave him a lil pump

What does Drake call his rake

  Da - Rake

i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

Why do cats like to sing? They’re very mewsical.

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing “Dame Tu Cosita” , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy’s mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP”

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

What do you call an elf that sings: A Wrapper

What Do You Sing On a Dead Person’s Birthday? Happy Death-Day To You

What is 50 cents least favorite store

The dollar store

If you’ve been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

have you ever heard steven hawkings sing? “head, shoulders, wheels and frames wheels and frames”

A bicurious man goes to a gar bar A gay man offers him a drink The bi man explains he doesnt know if hes gay or not Thats fine he says lets just have a drink The gay man asks him for a dance and he explains again he isnt sure if hes gay or not. Eventually the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends. They get to his house and the gay man says, do you fancy having sex? He isnt sure so the gay man explains ill push in slow and at any point you want to stop make animal sounds and if you like it starr they get to it and the gay man pushs in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR