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A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.

i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

Why did the pervert sing Gucci Gang? Because a woman just gave him a lil pump

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

What does Drake call his rake

  Da - Rake

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing “Dame Tu Cosita” , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy’s mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP”

Why do cats like to sing? They’re very mewsical.

What do you call an elf that sings: A Wrapper

What is 50 cents least favorite store

The dollar store

whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

If you’ve been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

have you ever heard steven hawkings sing? “head, shoulders, wheels and frames wheels and frames”

What Do You Sing On a Dead Person’s Birthday? Happy Death-Day To You

4 cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the 4 Cs Quartet since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine. They discovered how they could win. After a discussion they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.