What do you call a singing laptop? – A Dell.

i thought my wife was joking when she said she was gunna leave me because i wouldn’t stop singing “im a believer” but then i saw her face

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

What rock group has four men that don’t sing? – Mount Rushmore.

Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley!

My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away

what song does Saturn sing ?

'if you like it then you should have put a ring on it ’

How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”

Why did the pervert sing Gucci Gang? Because a woman just gave him a lil pump

What do you call an elf that sings: A Wrapper

What does Drake call his rake

  Da - Rake

What is 50 cents least favorite store

The dollar store

Why do cats like to sing? They’re very mewsical.

What did the choir boy sing to the priest? Nothing his mouth was full.

whats green and sings? ELVIS PARSELY!!!

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing “Dame Tu Cosita” , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy’s mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP”

What does it sound when a dragon sings? A fire alarm

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

Boy: can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: if you sing the abcs. Boy: abcdefghijklmnorstuvwxyz! Teacher: where’s the p? The boys answer: in my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.