Sniper jokes

I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.

Call of Duty kill cam be like.

This is the best kill streak ever!

What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?

Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.

"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!

Dad: Uh...

*hides his rifle*

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

What can't a sniper say to his wife?

"I missed you."

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

I took my mother-in-law out today...

I love being a sniper.

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?

When you have a gun in your hand.

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."