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Me and my friends were talking. Then we got to talk about our wives. I said “So I married a valcono for a wife. You never know when she will blow up”

Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it’s not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana

Why does this Stingray’s wife can’t stop babbling? Cause, she can’t watch her mouth.

It was an emotional wedding even the cake was in tiers{if I explain it it will ruin the joke}

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse’s pain to the father’s nervous system. He agrees and the doctors turn to dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf and he worked at a morgue. So one time poor Dan got confused and start having sex with the rotting corpse. He then came home, and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

I told my wife* she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at me surprised

*(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as an helix ruler)

so i was f...ing my daughter the other night and i dont know what was funnier the look on my wife’s face or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her

The person to make the first cannabinol cook book had a wife and ate (eight) children

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf and he worked at a morgue. So one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse. He then came home, and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

at my sample place i handed my wife a fork and i lost my job

How did steven hawking die? His wife needed a shot of a charger and plugged him out.

to be brutally honest i think his wife let him die for money cos they could just plug him back in, surely they have an android cable about?

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It’s not my fault I couldn’t wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

My wife caught me f...ing our daughter. I don’t know what she found worse, the fact I was f...ing out daughter, or that the clinic have me the fetus.

what is more time consuming than children? waiting for your’e wife to go into labor!

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

A wife asks her husband: am I pretty or ugly? The husband awnsers her: pretty. The wife responds: thank yo- The husband interrupts her: PRETTY UGLY!