Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window? It reminded him of Arnold Clock the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
There was this man and he forgot about his wife’s birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale
So I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier. The looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
My wife and I were at he park with our little princess today. We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout “Stop those two! They have my daughter!”
Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks “why the long face?”. The horse replies saying “My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart.” The bartender responds saying “oh” sympathetically. “sucks to be you!” The bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »
Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee
Son : « W- Wait a minute… So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »
The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot … » Son : « But it was a nightmare … »
Dad turns into a monster
Dad : « I’m your nightmare »
The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.
The Son with himself: « Wake up btch wake up btch !!! »
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises and a broken jaw?
Will you listen now?!?!?
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles