why does doctor pepper come in a bottle?
his wife died
Stephen Hawkins died because his wife misunderstood him when he said “My Windows Needs Updating” she had the double glazing removed and he fell out and died.
Guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud this is the pig I screw when your on the rag and is wife replies that’s not a pig its a sheep and he says I was talking to the sheep.
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
Me and my friends were talking. Then we got to talk about our wives. I said “So I married a valcono for a wife. You never know when she will blow up”
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife in his car and know one could see him. He threw the body out the car and thew the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife is dead and to come to the sene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops amediently arrested him. Why? ANSWER: The cops never said qhere the sene of the crime is.
so i was f...ing my daughter the other night and i dont know what was funnier the look on my wife’s face or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her
I was once caught doing it with a 16 year old in my bedroom. Boy was my wife mad. She yelled “HOW CAN YOU F… OUR DAUGHTER?!”. Haha yeah she was mad. Anyways thats why your mother and I are getting a divorce Timmy.
My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.
It’s not my fault I couldn’t wait to get out of the abortion clinic!
My wife caught me f...ing our daughter. I don’t know what she found worse, the fact I was f...ing out daughter, or that the clinic have me the fetus.
Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock the man who knife raped his wife.