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The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back

A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,“Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders”

“guess what my wife left in the freezer”

“her miscarriage”

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse but I beat her to it

how did stephen hwaking died his wife needed to charge her iphone

A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey’s F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN’T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH P... DON’T YOU!!!

What is 6" long, bright red and your wife cries when you feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What’s 8 inches long, pink, and my wife screams when I put it in her mouth?

-her miscarriage

why does doctor pepper come in a bottle?

his wife died

Q:what’s 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth A:her dead fetus

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you haven’t told her for twice

How do you know if your wife is dead?

Sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.

Stephen Hawkins died because his wife misunderstood him when he said “My Windows Needs Updating” she had the double glazing removed and he fell out and died.

Guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud this is the pig I screw when your on the rag and is wife replies that’s not a pig its a sheep and he says I was talking to the sheep.

My wife told me “don’t buy 1 gun while on your trip” so I decided to buy 2 guns instead

Whats better than throwing up a stillborn? Making your wife eat it again

Stephen Hawkins and his wife Siri’s favourite place to eat is meals on wheels😂

How did Steven Hawkings die? His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery x

Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?

She lost her ass playing poker…