Did you hear about the monkeys that share a amazon account?They where prime mates
Me: Wanna play 9/11? Friend: What's that? Me: Its a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
3 construction workers where sitting on the bridge that they where building having their lunch break. The first guy says “If I get a vegimite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.” The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”. The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.” The next day the first guy gets a vegimite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Patient: “Doctor my bottom hurts” Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?” Patient: “Right around the entrance” Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance it will hurt”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Kfc proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids.😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer
Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"
why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms ~ knock knock who's there? not sally ~ what first went through sally's head when the nazis came? a bullet ~ where did sally go when the bomb exploded? everywhere ~ what did sally get for christmas? a bike
I can't find out where Stephen Hawkings is from, I just can't place his accent.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his perants were. He cried more. Orphanages are really fun to work at.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
boss: you're fired
me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
boss: you're a waiter where did you get those
I asked my mom where babys come from she said I came from the adoption center.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like ur striped red and tan gloves" and she asked "where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "oh I made the red stripes myself"
Where did the sheep get a hair cut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Friend: Want to play fall guys?
Friend 2: Yup
Friend: Ok so let me ju- wait where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"
