Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun." Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?" Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?" Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna." Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?" Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
It's no surprise Donald Trump moved to Florida. That's where the oranges are.
you: Captain where is this plane going? Captain: New York, 175 Greenwich Street.
What where the twin towers plains
Gods playing Jenga
This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce
When we were visiting the hoover dam. I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Wheres the dam snack bar?"
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Last words of the captain of the Titanic.... Where's all this water come from??
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked "Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said "No, but I like the way you think!" Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said "Little Johnny!" He replied "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.
Woman: I want coffee, black Cop: *takes out gun* WHERE?!
Blue: The ocean is place where the creatures live Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE Blue:it has many pretty things and it will- Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on titanic! so let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I wasn't cut out for running today but those cops came out of no where
Q: why can't orphans be on a football team? A: because they won't know where to go on a home game.
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don't know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
Where animal does Russian milk come from?
moscows
The teacher asked her student to say the alphabet , The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, Where's the p, He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs
Where do you buy a dishwasher. Hot singles in your area
Where do keyboards go to have dinner? The space bar!!!
