Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
What is the worst combination of illnesses?
Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?
My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."
A teacher asked her class “what is sex?”
Little Johnny got up and said: “Sex is a *temptation* Caused by a *sensation* Where the boy sticks his *location* Into a girls *destination* To increase the *population* Of the next *generation* Did you get my *explanation*? Or do you need a *demonstration*?”
The teacher faints.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
My mom said, "Take out the trash," and I said, "Okay." The next day she asked, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "In line to get crushed."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
