Lost Jokes

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

Everywhere

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

I used to be a banker but I lost interest...

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

- Carlos.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/

They lost two towers.

Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting, first America lost both of its towers but now England has lost its queen

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting, first America lost both of its towers but now England has lost its queen

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot