Lost Jokes

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

I used to be a banker but I lost interest...

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

I’m part of the anti anime association but I’m starting to like anime. what do I do?

And for the joke- what do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls- sparky

Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."