Lost Jokes

Puns

Anonymous
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I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Minefield

Bloodcurdling scream
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Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

Everywhere

Ex

The Special
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Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Puns

Anonymous
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I used to be a banker but I lost interest...

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Fat

Anonymous
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Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

Puns

Anonymous
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Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!

2

Puns

Hannan Janjuaa
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Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Physicist

Anonymous
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Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"

Blonde

Anonymous
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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Puns

Fábio Ferreira
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What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

- Carlos.

Puns

Anonymous
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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

4

America

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This chess game against America and England is getting interesting, first America lost both of its towers but now England has lost its queen

Ex

Just A Joke
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Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

1

Bone

Anonymous
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Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Bad

ben dover
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why are Americans so bad at clash of clans, cause they already lost two towers

Gun

Anonymous
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A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, "for the France!" And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, "long live the queen!" And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said "MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS"

Orphan

Anonymous
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An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

2

Shooting

Arctic
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I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot

1

Suck

Gummybears
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How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/

They lost two towers.

Ex

Anonymous
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i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher