Lost Jokes

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail? -- To the retail store!

I used to be a banker but I lost interest...

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

- Carlos.

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

Today I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well I lost my job at the aquarium today.

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot

You know a parana can devour a small child in 30 seconds Any way I lost my job at the aquarium today

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."

How do you know that the U.S. suck at chess/

They lost two towers.

i just found out my ex got stabbed today....lets just say i lost my job as a butcher