Minefield

Bloodcurdling scream

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

Everywhere

Ex

The Special

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver

Fat

Anonymous

Why do the japanese hate Christmas???

Becasue the last time a Fat Man came down the chimney, they lost half their population

Puns

Fábio Ferreira

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

  • Carlos.

Puns

Anonymous

I used to be a banker but I lost interest…

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.

Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired)

Puns

Anonymous

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. – A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Sadness

Just A Joke

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horse and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

Puns

Anonymous

Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

Puns

Hannan Janjuaa

Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.

Man

Anonymous

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Atom

Anonymous

Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”

Shooting

Arctic

I lost at Kahoot so I had to ka-shoot

Puns

Anonymous

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. – I lost my case.

Bad

Anonymous

Why are Americans bad chess players?

They lost two towers.

German

Anonymous

A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind

Orphan

Anonymous

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost calls for his mum then remembers

Bad

Anonymous

Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.

Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.

Ex

Anonymous

i just found out my ex got stabbed today…lets just say i lost my job as a butcher

Puns

Anonymous

Today was a bad day. First My ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver

Wife

Death&Decay

A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, “her life.”

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