The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus so he asks his class, “where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “how do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bang on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?”
Person: where do i commit sucide Dog: roof Person: good idea
Where did the software developer go?! I don’t know, he ransomware!
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson....
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.
Where did Hitler send kids with ADHD? Concentration camp.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad. Liam: I like you both. Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go Liam: I will go to paris. Mother: That's means you like dad more Liam: No, its because i like paris Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go. Liam: I will go to America. Mother: Why Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Me: want to play 911
My little brother: what’s that
Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
i hate when i lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. where do i lose my friends from Afghanistan? in an explosion
one day little billy came in pulling up his pants the teacher asks "Where have you been billy" he says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later little willy came in the teacher asked where have you been he says on top of beverly hill 10 minutes later little johnny came in teacher says again where have you been ha says on top of beverly hill a few minutes later a girl came in the teacher says who are you she says i'm beverly hill
Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.
Why don't orphans like to get lost??
Because somebody's going to ask where their parents are.
Where do cows 🐮 get their medicine 💊?
At the farmacy.
Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
