My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"
What where Stephens last words “battery low”
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school
The mom : "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road honey?" The dad : "Everywhere"
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado
when my grandpa was 65 he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
he's 70 now and we have no idea where he is
Yo mama so stupid she said "where are my gifts" on father's day
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk
Where did Janet go during the bombing. Everywhere
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic? A: Right where you left em.
Where are the best shooting ranges in America? Used to be in schools, but now in subways.
Where does Spider-Man keep his pictures?
On a website.
why did the emo kid hate the nun (cuz NUN of them where emo)
I'll never forget my Grandads last words...SON WHERE DID U GET A GRENADE FROM?!
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
wanna hear a funny joke? well that was why you where here... heres the joke Your life :)
Where do sick boats go? -- The dock!
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
