There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
/Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet."
Where do rape victims buy there clothes from?
The kids section
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor
Where would a snowman ☃️ go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll
Where do bunnies go when they're sick?
the hoppital
Where does the Batman go to pee? The Batroom
Where do sheep go to shop? Shears
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at and if they cry, just say 'hey here are your parents' then grab nothing. perfect example.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper where
White vans
Women are like dogs... "Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?" "Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?" "I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
a man walks into a bar, and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. when he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" the man decided not to take the risk. he thought the steaks where too high.
So I'm banging the fuck out of this slutty chick, right? And I'm thinking to myself, "She's PROBABLY got AIDS." So I go and get myself tested and, lo-and-behold, I'm positive. This gets me thinking, "Where the fuck does an eight year old get AIDS?!" "Who has my sister been hanging out with?!"
Kid: Dad where are you going
Dad: To get milk
TEN YEARS LATER
Kids friend: wheres your dad
Kid: he went to get milk but never came back
So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
where do poor italians live? the spaghetto
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of google search results
where do orphans shop at home apliance?
