When jokes
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Memes
wtf is this wifi
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?
When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.