When jokes
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?
A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.