When jokes

What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age, but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.

Well, they're not laughing now!

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?

I have to Pikashoe.

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.

When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?