When jokes

What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?

"Kobe crash!"

Why didn't the orphan do the work?

Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.

My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

I give a fuck when my computer crashes.

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"

In China, just when you think you know everything... then boooom.

A gay chicken... hahaha.

What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?

A school bus full of kids.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?

A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

What time is it when you can drive home from phone?

What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?

Continental Drift.

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.

When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!