When jokes
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂
Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Olgh..."
Kiwi's forehead is so big when he leaves to go to work he has to use a sunroof to drive. 😏
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
In China, just when you think you know everything... then boooom.
A gay chicken... hahaha.
When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?
The Jew World Order.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.