When jokes

Face

    • 1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

    2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

    If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

    Welcome.

  • 2

    • Shooter

    • The school shooter when the cops show up be like:

    "Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."

    When memes

    Pen

    • I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭

  • 1

    • Heaven

    • When we die we get sent to heaven, but when Stephen Hawking died, he was sent to the cloud.

    Eye

    • Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"

    Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."

    The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."

    The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"

  • 2

    • Name

    • If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

  • 3

    • World

    • What do you call the Illuminati when they take over the world and control everything?

    The Jew World Order.

  • 1

    • Leg day

    • When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

    Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

    Misunderstanding

    • My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.

    I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.

  • 1