When jokes
What's big, black, and lights up when you touch it?
A phone.
Why did the chicken cross the road, when it should stay on a farm?
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a train tunnel?
A train tunnel doesn’t get any wider when you rail it.
What do you call it when human vegetables die?
Spoiled food product.
What do you get when you cross a car with a woman?
A transmission that never shifts.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a lollipop?
A cocksucker.
What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?
When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.
Yo mama so fat, when she is on her period, she floods the entire town with her blood.
What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?
Two holes, dummy!
What did Katie say when her house burnt down?
"HOLY SMOKES!"
A song about yellow and blue beans.
Engines shut off when accelerating, Babu is wearing a hat and gloves. Rain is like honey. Bob remembered the sentence as best he could. Latex Master has reached the ninth level. These are weapons of atheism in the narrow sense.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Little Roach, look, Bob, of course!
Glory comes and loss is great. Three types of copper filling. The stairs are covered with lego pieces, Take a closer look at the snowman, a type of flowering plant. There is no science that saves time from fog. "The war against slavery!" - The Complete Guide to Bob Fuller.
Long live the world! Cars, cars everywhere! Bob Perselbaum resisted. It quickly turns yellow and blue. Hang a laminate. Bob, that's right!
Yo mama so sad that when Alejandra Parma died, she bought 20 Cocomelon Happy Meals from McDonald's and became fat.
When there's a news story of people who have died en masse, for example from explosions and fires.
Other people are all "oh no that's terrible!"
Pfft shut up, lying asshole. Trying to be "nice".
I'm like "YAY EXCITING. I don't like being bored hearing 'good news' all of the time."
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"
I'll try not to post jokes about disabled people anymore.
I shouldn't kick a guy when he's Down's.
I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"