When jokes

Michael Jackson

Michael's final wish was to be made into Lego blocks so kids could play with him for a change. Karma for the dead pedo icon.

When Michael Joseph Jackson died, plastic surgeons took his remains and made Halloween masks to give to children. The horror of the pedophile icon lives on every October 31. You can't escape the world's most dangerous pedophile, except with Pepsi-hee-hee. The pedo icon rides again.

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

9/11

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

Democrat

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Woman

Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?

When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”

Common

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

Mama

Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.

Michael Jackson

What does Michael Jackson say when he is peeing? "My wa-a-ter falls, I am calling you-hoo-hoo-hoo." The source on this? The accusers and CNN.

What is Michael Joseph Jackson's favorite song? "The boys are back in town."

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

Homeless

One day I was walking next to a home less man and he was eating grass I asked him if he was hungry he said yes I said follow me you should of seen his face when I showed him my back yard 😂😂😂😂

Scoliosis

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

German

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.

I replied, "No. Is that still required?"

Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Michael Jackson

What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.

Difference

What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.

Disney

What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."

Disney

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."