Horseman jokes

What did the headless horseman say to the woman?

"Give me head."

Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?

He was trying to get ahead in life.

A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

A preacher was selling a horse. A cowboy decided to buy the horse. The preacher told the cowboy to make the horse go, to say "Thank God" and to stop the horse, to say "Hallelujah". The cowboy then rode off into the sunset until he came upon a cliff, searching his memory he yelled "Hallelujah" and the horse stopped just before going off the cliff. Then the cowboy said "Thank God".

Why do horses eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.