When jokes

What happens when you put a baby in a blender?

The baby is a cherry smoothie.

What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?

A puppy, you dirty monkey!

Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"

*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?

girl: Are you saying I'm fat?

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?

The cat says "me toooo!"

What does a bungee jumper and a homosexual have in common?

When the rubber snaps, they both end up in the shit! 💩

When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,

and then you remember you’re French.

When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!

Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?

A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."

He couldn't shoot straight.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?

Dam.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.

Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

I cried when my dad cut onions.

Onions was a good dog.