When jokes

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?

I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

Time for a Terraria joke.

What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?

A gold digger.

(play the game or watch some vids to understand)

What did the store manager say when they ran out of toilet paper?

We’re wiped out!

What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.

What did the bull say when he went to college?

Bison!

10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!

When do you go on red and stop at green?

A watermelon.

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."

What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?

HO, HO, HO!

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

What is the difference between onions and babies?

I cry when I cut onions.

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?

An animal abuse warrant.

Your hairline is running away faster than when your dad went to get milk, and that’s saying something.