When jokes
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"
What is the difference between a tree and when I walk home at night?
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?
HO, HO, HO!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.
What was OceanGate's biggest regret?
Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the Titan submarine for when it sunk like Bud Light's profits.