Whats jokes

What do you call Yakub with no eyes?

No eyes Yakub.

What's the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

What do clams do on their birthday? They shell-brate, but they eat all the cake for themselves because they’re shellfish!

What do you call a fish without eyes?

A fsh.

Devil: Hey angel.

Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?

Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?

Angel: What?

Devil: Angelpinos!

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner is wanted!

I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

What’s Helen Keller’s favorite game as a kid?

I spy.

What flour do orphans use to bake bread?

Self-raising.

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.