Whats jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.
Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Aliens
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What can’t a Black person say to a police officer?
"Thanks for the warning."
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What’s worse than ants in your pants?
Uncles.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown?
Cheater, cheater, woman beater!
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.