Alzheimers

Alzheimers Jokes

Combination

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

  • 6
  • Grandparent

    Whenever my grandparents apologize, I say "forgive and forget". They are really obedient.

    Man

    A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."

  • 8
  • Easter

    What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!

    Treatment

    Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"

    Patient

    How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    To get to the other side!

  • 1
  • Man

    Old man goes to the doctor.

    The doctor says, "The test results are back, and I'm sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer's."

    The old man says, "Phew! At least it's not cancer!"

  • 2
  • Knock

    Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

  • 0
  • Grandpa

    Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."

    Boy: "What's that?"

    Grandpa: "What's what?"

    Kind

    I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

    Guy

    So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"

    Grandma

    I find it best to screw people with memory loss. I mean, what's my grandma gonna do? Describe me to the cops?

    Mother

    "Knock Knock"

    "Who's there?"

    "John."

    "John who?"

    John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.

    Man

    Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.

    Rule

    The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

    Wait, where are we again?

    Money

    Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.