My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Crabs on your organ!
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
Your mama is so nasty. She showed up to red lobster with her own crabs.
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
You know why women wear tampons so the crabs could bungee jump
Yo Momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky. Yo Momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner she sat on the table, opened her legs and said "Crabs."
Why would you never donate to crabs?
Because they're shellfish!
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
Every hair zodiac has a hairstyle- except cancer
