Crab jokes

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.

Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.

What’s worse than spiders on your piano?

Crabs on your organ!

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?

They shellabrated their mommy.

How do crabs honor their mom’s birthday? The shell-abrate.

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!

So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Your mama is so nasty.

She showed up to Red Lobster with her own crabs.

Why should old women never eat seafood?

'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.

Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they're all shellfish.

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.

Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."

"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

What do you call crabs that do not share their food?

They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ

Every hair zodiac has a hairstyle--except Cancer.

Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.

Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!