Whats jokes
What has two wings and an arrow?
A Chinese telephone: "Wing wing, arrow!"
What do Jane Doe and a cheap discount store have in common?
When the shop's open late, inventory management shuts down, but we all know there's probably some sausages in there.
What do women and wine bottles have in common?
They both have a hole you can plug and unplug.
I got my math test back today. I am Asian and raised in an Asian household, so I was worried about what I was going to get.
I got a 95%.
I'm having warm dinner tonight!
P.S. True story, lol.
What do you get when you add one whole and one whole?
Two holes, dummy!
What do a track meet and a frat house have in common?
They both have something getting ran through by eight men while it just sits there.
What’s the difference between Jane Doe and a roller coaster?
You can ride both on Ketamine, but only one will get you on the news.
What do dogs and lesbian women have in common?
They're both lickers and called a bitch.
Q: What's an emo's favourite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
Q. What do you call a group of emos?
A. Suicide Squad.
What did Katie say when her house burnt down?
"HOLY SMOKES!"
What do a black person and Alexander Hamilton have in common?
They both got shot.
What do you call a money hungry Hispanic?
Don Jewlio
What’s a money-hungry politician's favorite place?
Jew York.
What is the best way to pick up a woman from the bar?
Spike her drink with roofies.
What do you call the bomb dropped on Hiroshima?
A rice cooker.
What is the difference between a black pilot and Charlie Kirk?
The black pilot is still alive.
What do you call One Direction converted to Islam?
Al-Qaedirection
I talk with a friend about something and there comes Quandangle, things with his shoes, and I'm just like, "Bro, what the heeeeel?"
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."