Whats jokes
My girlfriend went to the doctor for a broken arm, and they told her it should be better in about two months. I asked her what they said. She said, "It should be better in about two months." I then asked her, "What did the dentist say?"
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
What do you call a singer who can't make a song?
Taylor Swift.
what do you call a downie superhero? chromo-doner
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a shopping bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and dangerous for children. The other is for groceries.
what do blind people and orphans have in conman? they both cant see they're parents...
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
What is a disabled man called?
"Woman." Haha.
Lenin was on his deathbed, with Stalin sitting by his side.
Lenin says: "What are you going to do after I die? They might not follow you."
Stalin responds: "Then they'll follow you."
What's the difference between Christian theocrats and Islamic fundamentalists?
Presentation.
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
What is the best Catholic dating app?
Grinder.