Whats

Whats Jokes

Hitler

What's the difference between Hitler and Usain Bolt?

One actually finished a race.

Ocd

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

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  • Self Harm

    My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

    Orphan

    What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

    Autobiography

    "I'm thinking about killing off the main character in this book I'm writing."

    "What type of book is it?"

    "An autobiography."

    Memes

    Emo

    What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

    Ex

    "Hey, today was great."

    "What happened?"

    "I ran into my ex today."

    "What's so great about that?"

    "I was in my car."

    Grape

    What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

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  • Magazine

    What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?

    Reload and keep shooting.

    North Tower

    What did the north tower say to the south tower?

    "Let’s talk later, I gotta catch a plane."

    Mummy

    Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

    Skin

    You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

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  • Body

    When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"

    Depression

    What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

    If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

    Dad

    What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

    Combination

    What is the worst combination of illnesses?

    Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

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  • Ex

    My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

    Bang

    "Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

    "Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

    "Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

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