Visit jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit the idiot.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
The chicken who?
*Silence*
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a chair, then a table.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash withdrawals.
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
Why did he go to the chiropractors?
To get his spine fixed.
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
Stan Lee walked into a school one day.
Just kidding, he's fuckin dead :(
Mrs. Mallara's boobs were (69) pounds. She said that was too too too much (69222), so she went to 51st Street (6922251) to visit Doctor X (6922251 x), and the surgery lasted 8 hours (6922251 x 8).
She ended up (the total flipped upside down spells boobless) (=)55378008
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Why did Joe Biden visit Hiroshima? Because the city has the hottest prepubescent girls in the world.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
So, I was fucking my daughter the other night, and I don't know what was funnier, the look on my wife's face, or the fact the abortion clinic let me keep her.