Whale jokes
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
A dolphin swims into a bar and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!!! 😂
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!