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Toaster

When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.

A picture of a cartoon character with white hair and a sly smile, with the text "Parents: are you still a virgin? The toaster:"

Fate

You have been visited by Leonard the all knowing. He shall decide your fate…

A plush toy with a multi-colored mane and a white hat with a blue pine tree symbol on it. Text overlay: You have been visited by Leonard the all knowing. He shall decide your fate…