Visit jokes
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?
A European.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
We ain’t got no new memes so here
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
A woman walks into a bar and says, "Ow!"
I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday.
Oh, don't worry, he's okay now.
But the vet charged me six quid.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Hellen Keller walked into a bar... then a table... then a chair.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
The lady says, "Come again!"
The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Why do orphans always go to church? Because that’s the only place they could call someone "father."
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Why doesn’t Joe Biden visit children with cancer in hospitals?
Because he can’t sniff their hair.
Albert is a homophobic guy. His cousin Franco is also a homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert didn't know that because he came late at night. Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed, thinking he would not come home. Albert laid on his bed, thinking there was no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever 👌😂
Sy’kyira (😌): I can’t wait for the therapist to come.
Daina (😊): Same, 30 minutes have passed... I also wonder what that loud sound is.
Sy’kyira (😅): SAME!!! What, does it sound like a woman suffering???
Daina (😌): I know, right?