Vision jokes
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
I C U P works on 88% of people.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?
We're both blind.
You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.
Make him read a book.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?
Neither can see their parents.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
I can see my future in your forehead.
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.