Vision jokes

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

We can only see 90 degrees.

In the realm of Danny, Ben, and Paxton, A trio of souls intertwined, Their stories woven with grace and might, A tale of friendship, ethereal and fine.

Danny, the dreamer with stars in his eyes, Chasing visions that danced in his mind, With every thought, a world he'd create, A poet, an artist, one of a kind.

Ben Power, the steadfast, a force to behold, With strength that could move mountains high, His heart, a fortress, unyielding and bold, A protector, a guardian, forever nigh.

Paxton, the wanderer, a spirit untamed, Roaming free wherever the wind blew, In every step, a new adventure claimed, A seeker, a nomad, forever anew.

Together they stood, a harmonic blend, Different paths converging as one, In the depths of their bond, a love unfurled, A symphony played, forever sung.

Through trials and triumphs, they faced the storm, Hand in hand, against the tempest's might, With laughter, tears, and hearts so warm, They shared the darkness, embracing the light.

Oh, Danny, Ben, and Paxton, forever bound, Through the pages of life, your stories unfold, In the tapestry of friendships profound, Your spirits, like poetry, forever bold.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?

Because you can't C in the dark!

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

I C U P works on 88% of people.

The doctor told me I'm color blind...

Me: That's out of the purple!

What do me and a blind person have in common after I look at Alfie's mum?

We're both blind.

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Make him read a book.

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.

They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!

I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.