Vision jokes
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
You dream in 4K.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because she’s dead.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. 😂
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.