Vision jokes
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
You dream in 4K.
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Why can’t a blind person be a teacher? Because they can’t control their pupils.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.