Vision jokes
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
Why does China have the biggest eyewear?
Because all their eyes are too small.
You dream in 4K.
"Donât look! I saw you peeking through the window."
Why canât a blind person be a teacher? Because they canât control their pupils.
God said, âLet there be light,â so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Uma Thurman's optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes.
I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Why are blinds called blinds?
Because when they arenât closed, they are blinding!
Why doesnât Helen Keller go to the optometrist?
Because sheâs dead.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
When I look in your eyes, I always see something: my reflection. đ
What do you call Yakub with no eyes?
No eyes Yakub.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.
Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldnât have hit that pole.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
POOP!
My friend is blind so he can "no see."
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
If I were in a staring contest with you, I would be looking at a rainbow.