Vision jokes
A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn't see that well.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
Your face is so big that not even you can see it.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
You think people with glasses are smart, but they fail the eye doctor test.
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Why did the old man fall down a well?
He couldn't see that well.
God sent a kid to the principal's office for giving a blind kid sunglasses and said, "Don't let the sun damage your eyes!"
What do you call a German man who can't see?
A not see.